Speaking with Kind Words

If we want to understand what the Dharma teaches us about building affinity and living in harmony with others, we must first understand the four great all-embracing virtues. The Buddha teaches that for us to realize our true capacity of connecting with and serving our fellow citizens, we have to first build a good rapport, and the four virtues are tools to that end. 

The four virtues are givingspeaking with kind wordsconducting oneself for the benefit of others, and adapting oneself to others.

Speaking with Kind Words

To practice the second virtue regarding amiable speech, we should compliment rather than reprehend others, encourage them rather than criticize, and use loving words rather than scathing remarks.

Many arguments and fights have been started by an unkind utterance that could have easily remained unspoken or been replaced with gentle words instead. What was once a peaceful community can degenerate very quickly into a feuding community if lies, slander and gossip spread throughout its inhabitants.

If we are not paying attention, our careless words can destroy relationships. If we are mindful in our speech, being cautious always to speak with affection, our relationships will be grounded in trust and compassion.

Loving-kindness and compassion are something that people in this life of suffering depend on. Loving-kindness and compassion provide a ray of hope in life. Society is ruthless, tyrannical, and disorderly, and today, more than ever before, people must insist on habits of being amiable and equitable with one another. People must learn to put themselves in the shoes of others and even to consider all sentient beings as one would himself or herself. This will give rise to loving-kindness and compassion.

In the words of Buddhism, “Loving-kindness and compassion have no match.” Loving-kindness and compassion can overcome all negativity. One thought of loving-kindness and compassion can eliminate greed, anger, arrogance, and fear. In this modern age of scientific development, it has been found that human communication is far more important than all the discoveries of science and technology.

How can there be perfect communication among people? It can only happen through the practice of loving-kindness, compassion, and the four means of embracing virtues: giving charity, affectionate speech, conduct beneficially to others, and cooperation with others and adaptation of oneself to others to lead them to the truth.

Only when people consider all sentient beings with the eyes, words, expression, voice, and mind of loving-kindness and compassion and create affinities with all sentient beings can society achieve harmony and peace.

From Living Affinity, written by Venerable Master Hsing Yun.

Image from Pixabay.

More Featured Articles

In this modern world, people are constantly saying, "Life is too stressful!" Why are people so stressed out? How can we rid ourselves of stress? Students feel stressed because of heavy schoolwork; parents feel stressed because they have too many chores and family obligations; policemen feel stressed because they have too much work; and workers feel stressed and are unhappy because their work hours are Read more
Given that I have become a monk, I have placed demands upon myself. My sense of leaving the secular and focusing on the path must surpass others; my sense of self restraint and doing for others must be strengthened. I must learn to endure disadvantage, and I must let others gain some advantage at my expense; I must learn how to be patient and how Read more
Among our many relationships, many forms and types exist. There are friendships, family connections, teacher-student bonds, marriages, relationships with and between monastics, and many other kinds. How we choose to develop, nourish and manage these specific relationships determines our own joy and contentment, as well as that of our fellow human beings, and ultimately, our community and world as a whole.  How wonderful our lives Read more
In Buddhism, the root cause of human suffering and other problems are identified as the mind. It thus proposes to tap into this invaluable resource by transforming any unwholesomeness into wholesomeness. Buddhism instructs sentient beings on how to recognize the mind, calm the mind, and handle the mind. The Buddha taught for forty-nine years during his lifetime. Whether his teachings were about the four noble Read more
Chan is meditation throughout our lives. When we live with Chan, the taste of food and feel of clothes will change. We will not feel difficulty when dealing with our affairs. Any matter can be laughed away. The human world has its ups and down, but when we have a Chan mind it is like the world is ours and nothing is lacking. All human Read more
Greed is a basic disease of all sentient beings. In our realm, the desire realm (kamadhatu), the force and effects of greed can be felt especially strongly. Greed is based on ignorance and cannot function without it. The fundamental ignorance that enables greed to function is the belief in a self that exists separately and independently from other sentient beings. This belief leads to nothing Read more
Birth and death are realities of life. Regardless of who we are, we cannot escape either one. While birth is celebrated, death is feared by most. In order to cope with our fear, we often seek comfort in religion. Although each of the world's major religious traditions has its own teaching concerning death, Buddhism is the only one that promotes the doctrine of impermanence as one Read more
Sharing joy with others is not only a virtue, it is also a delightful experience.To take delight in shared joy is to give willing support to those who are compassionate in helping the needy; it is to give genuine praise to those who have dedicated themselves to the highest achievements in life. If we want to be successful in this world, we must cultivate the Read more
Sages from all religions who serve the multitudes without any monetary reward or recognition are volunteers of human society.  An ancient sage once said: “Before one can become a prominent figure in Buddhist circles, one has to be a horse and an ox for all sentient beings.” Another said: “Before one attains Buddhahood, one first has to form affinity.” Over the generations, Buddhist monastics have Read more
People often ask me, “What ad­versity have you experienced in your life?” And for a moment, I can­not come up with an answer. I have always maintained the attitude of taking things as they come, as in the sayings “When the soldiers come, de­ploy the generals to fight back; when there is a flood, use earth to stop it” and “When encountering a mountain, cut Read more
True stature is not created by form or ornament; words spoken out of jealousy and greed oppose it. Only when evil has been stopped at its roots, and when there is wisdom without anger is there true stature.— Dharmapadavadana Sutra The False Stature of This WorldEveryone wants to be well regarded by others. However, in seeking true stature, people too often waste their time in Read more
Compassion is the father, the bodhi mind the mother. Good methods are like friends because they save all sentient beings. — Great Collection of True Dharmas Sutra Compassion Is the Father Compassion removes suffering and creates joy. The sutra says, “The power of the Dharma is beyond expression. Nothing can obstruct compassion.” Compassion is the root source of all good. Compassion is the heart of Read more