Speaking with Kind Words

If we want to understand what the Dharma teaches us about building affinity and living in harmony with others, we must first understand the four great all-embracing virtues. The Buddha teaches that for us to realize our true capacity of connecting with and serving our fellow citizens, we have to first build a good rapport, and the four virtues are tools to that end. 

The four virtues are givingspeaking with kind wordsconducting oneself for the benefit of others, and adapting oneself to others.

Speaking with Kind Words

To practice the second virtue regarding amiable speech, we should compliment rather than reprehend others, encourage them rather than criticize, and use loving words rather than scathing remarks.

Many arguments and fights have been started by an unkind utterance that could have easily remained unspoken or been replaced with gentle words instead. What was once a peaceful community can degenerate very quickly into a feuding community if lies, slander and gossip spread throughout its inhabitants.

If we are not paying attention, our careless words can destroy relationships. If we are mindful in our speech, being cautious always to speak with affection, our relationships will be grounded in trust and compassion.

Loving-kindness and compassion are something that people in this life of suffering depend on. Loving-kindness and compassion provide a ray of hope in life. Society is ruthless, tyrannical, and disorderly, and today, more than ever before, people must insist on habits of being amiable and equitable with one another. People must learn to put themselves in the shoes of others and even to consider all sentient beings as one would himself or herself. This will give rise to loving-kindness and compassion.

In the words of Buddhism, “Loving-kindness and compassion have no match.” Loving-kindness and compassion can overcome all negativity. One thought of loving-kindness and compassion can eliminate greed, anger, arrogance, and fear. In this modern age of scientific development, it has been found that human communication is far more important than all the discoveries of science and technology.

How can there be perfect communication among people? It can only happen through the practice of loving-kindness, compassion, and the four means of embracing virtues: giving charity, affectionate speech, conduct beneficially to others, and cooperation with others and adaptation of oneself to others to lead them to the truth.

Only when people consider all sentient beings with the eyes, words, expression, voice, and mind of loving-kindness and compassion and create affinities with all sentient beings can society achieve harmony and peace.

From Living Affinity, written by Venerable Master Hsing Yun.

Image from Pixabay.

More Featured Articles

Given that I have become a monk, I have placed demands upon myself. My sense of leaving the secular and focusing on the path must surpass others; my sense of self restraint and doing for others must be strengthened. I must learn to endure disadvantage, and I must let others gain some advantage at my expense; I must learn how to be patient and how Read more
Though the worlds that we see are fundamentally a product of our own minds, they usually do not appear this way to us. Like images in an intense dream, our perceptions appear to be wholly real to us, and not to have been generated by our own mental activity. For this reason, the Buddha taught many ways to help us comprehend the true nature of Read more
Buddhism says we should see friends and enemies as equal. This means we should learn to tolerate unfriendly people, unideal environments, and language that is hard on the ears. Read more
When someone benefits us even a little,we should repay them with all our hearts.Even if someone is angry with us,we should always treat them well.— Upasakasila Sutra Gratitude Is Fundamental to BuddhismA natural outgrowth of heartfelt gratitude is the desire to repay others for the kind things they have done for us. Having the feeling of being indebted to others is a sign that we are Read more
Humans are “masters of the myriad creations of this earth” but are also the creators of problems. The arising of all problems in this world is related to humans, including today’s problems concerning environmental preservation. They also arise because of humanity’s selfishness, ignorance, and interruption of the harmony and natural cycles of the world, to the point where there are continuous natural calamities and changes. Read more
Although "compassion is the foundation of Buddhism" is a popular slogan, compassion is not the exclusive property of Buddhists. It is a common treasure shared by all sentient beings. Because there is compassion in this world, life is full of meaning. As we endure the trials and tribulations life offers us, compassion inspires us with endless visions. The mind of compassion is the ever-flowing fountainhead Read more
The great masters of the Chan School have always been like leisurely clouds and wild cranes, sometimes dwelling in the mountain forests, sometimes living by the water. Read more
We sometimes see signs on the highway warning: “Keep a safe distance.” Actually, it is not only in driving that we need to keep a distance. For safety reasons, any person and anything in the world needs to keep a distance.Take, for instance, the human body. Our eyes, nose, and mouth all need to keep a distance from one another. Our internal organs all have Read more
Sages from all religions who serve the multitudes without any monetary reward or recognition are volunteers of human society.  An ancient sage once said: “Before one can become a prominent figure in Buddhist circles, one has to be a horse and an ox for all sentient beings.” Another said: “Before one attains Buddhahood, one first has to form affinity.” Over the generations, Buddhist monastics have Read more
Trees have their roots, and people have their origins. As hu­man beings, we must endeavor to increase joy in the world for the sake of everyone in the world, and we also must ensure that life will sprout flowers and bear fruits as strong and stur­dy as the peach. “Mother” is the source of life for every person, and she is also the harbor on Read more
Love and affection are infinitely valuable. There are various levels of love and affection that we can aspire to. Some people describe how people love this way: Young people love with their words, middle-aged people love with their actions, and elder people love with their hearts.  Read more
The occurrence of a disease is closely related to one’s mental health, physical health, spiritual health, behavior, habits, living environment, and even the society and culture in which one lives.  Harmonizing all of these elements and engaging in specific practices can help to bring about optimum health and prevent illness.  Gaining awareness about the cause of illness and conducting our lives in a manner that Read more