To be Flexible

If someone is too tough or stubborn, one can say that they have a cold heart, or even a heart made of stone. But consider this: our teeth may be hard and rigid, but they will each fall out as we get older. On the other hand, the tongue more or less retains its form even after we die.

In general, things can sustain themselves more easily if they are flexible, but tend to be damaged if they are too rigid.

One time, I assembled a group of practitioners who had been on a six month retreat in the meditation hall and asked, “Have any of you made any progress, or wish to share your meditation experience?”

It is difficult to attain awakening, but after this six month experience with meditation, most people said, “My heart has become softer.” I was very glad to hear such comments. After practicing meditation for a while, one will realize there is no need to argue over petty things, no need to be rigid, and no need to compare with others. One’s heart will become softer and one’s mind will become broader, just as the bough of a tree with ripened fruit bends, or how the branches of a willow tree are beautiful due to their soft and gentle swing.

Truly, the greatest progress you can make in your cultivation is the softening of the heart.

If we regulate the breath, relax the body, and train the mind through meditation, we can gradually rein in and pacify our monkey-like minds and horse-like wills. Our days will be happier and our lives will be longer.

Master Hanshan once said: “The strings of a hard crossbow always break first; the blades of a sharp knife chip more easily.”

The same rule can be applied to live our lives. We should honor harmony and congruence in our relationships. As soon as a fist thrusts forward, it loses power. When the fist remains in, one’s power is sustained. We should never be impulsive in our actions or complain about little things that don’t really matter. Impatience and stubbornness lead us far too easily toward grief and suffering.

We all hope that we can have friends who are peaceful and pleasant, but there may be some who say, “These days, if you aren’t fierce and relentless, others will take advantage of you.” But these kinds of setbacks are temporary.

One may win or lose, but in the end, the result depends on you. One cannot rely simply on brute force, instead it is important to focus on the details. Everyone is different, and if we can be flexible and not so rigid, we can accept this.

Originally published in Endless Knot, written by Venerable Master Hsing Yun.

Image from Pixabay.

More Featured Articles

Humans are thinking animals! Since the beginning of time, there have always been people who fantasize, who have delusions, who dream—and many who have ideals. When we lie in our beds at night, we should be free from worry. Yet thoughts about our lives often arise then; thoughts about family, country, or even the world. Everything is within our minds.The average person often tends to Read more
Buddhism says we should see friends and enemies as equal. This means we should learn to tolerate unfriendly people, unideal environments, and language that is hard on the ears. Read more
We should not look at life just as the limited span of one person’s life; we should look at the larger life of the universe. While a person’s life may only span a limited number of years, its value is everlasting. Read more
At the many places I engaged in practice and study—at places such as Qixia in Nanjing, Jinshan and Jiaoshan in Zhenjiang, and Tianning in Changzhou, where I was brought up experiencing spring breezes, summer rains, autumn frosts, and winter snows—I studied silently and grew up quietly. I was always thinking as to how I could repay Buddhism’s kindness. I could not make a living by depending on Buddhism over Read more
In the past, during the feudal period of Chinese history, men were respected while women were thought of as being rather contemptible. The birth of a son was compared to fashioning an ornament as precious as jade, which not only made everyone happy, but also raised the status of his mother. Read more
Though sitting meditation was given to us from the ancient past it is a way for modern people to lead happy lives. Sitting meditation allows us to dispel the pressures of daily life that come from the mind’s confusion and a mistaken understanding of phenomena. Practicing sitting meditation quiets the mind and stills our thoughts so that we can recover our intrinsic nature. Sitting meditation Read more
In the Sutra of Forty-Two Sections, the Buddha asked his disciples, "How long is one's life?" One of the monks replied, "A few years." The next one answered, "A few days!" Another one said, "Less than one day!" Another responded, "Between meals!" Finally, the Buddha said, "Life lasts for the duration of one breath." Life is extraordinarily precious and yet it is based on a Read more
Human beings are social animals; we cannot live apart from community. As Buddhists, we are told to seek the Dharma among the people, for the Dharma does not exist in some other world or far away place; the Dharma is here among us, embodied in each and every being. When we understand that human society is nothing other than a web of human relationships, we Read more
When we can practice viewing ourselves and others through a lens of oneness, we will no longer engage in meaningless mind games that prevent us from forming positive connections with all beings. Read more
We sometimes see signs on the highway warning: “Keep a safe distance.” Actually, it is not only in driving that we need to keep a distance. For safety reasons, any person and anything in the world needs to keep a distance.Take, for instance, the human body. Our eyes, nose, and mouth all need to keep a distance from one another. Our internal organs all have Read more
In devoting my life to Buddhism, in order to keep Buddhism current with the advances in society, in terms of thoughts, I am always making improvements at every hour and moment; in terms of practice, I am constantly and continuously making adjustments. Even though I know that Buddhism must be reformed, innovation never comes into being in the heat of the moment. My “silent revolution” Read more
In fact, what I have enjoyed the most in my reading, and it could be said that a piece of writing that has had an important influence upon my life is the poem “Thoughts on My Fiftieth Birthday,” written by Venerable Master Taixu during his visit to India when the lay Buddhist Tan Yun-shan, Chairperson of the Institute of Chinese Language and Culture at Visva-Bharati Read more