To be Flexible

If someone is too tough or stubborn, one can say that they have a cold heart, or even a heart made of stone. But consider this: our teeth may be hard and rigid, but they will each fall out as we get older. On the other hand, the tongue more or less retains its form even after we die.

In general, things can sustain themselves more easily if they are flexible, but tend to be damaged if they are too rigid.

One time, I assembled a group of practitioners who had been on a six month retreat in the meditation hall and asked, “Have any of you made any progress, or wish to share your meditation experience?”

It is difficult to attain awakening, but after this six month experience with meditation, most people said, “My heart has become softer.” I was very glad to hear such comments. After practicing meditation for a while, one will realize there is no need to argue over petty things, no need to be rigid, and no need to compare with others. One’s heart will become softer and one’s mind will become broader, just as the bough of a tree with ripened fruit bends, or how the branches of a willow tree are beautiful due to their soft and gentle swing.

Truly, the greatest progress you can make in your cultivation is the softening of the heart.

If we regulate the breath, relax the body, and train the mind through meditation, we can gradually rein in and pacify our monkey-like minds and horse-like wills. Our days will be happier and our lives will be longer.

Master Hanshan once said: “The strings of a hard crossbow always break first; the blades of a sharp knife chip more easily.”

The same rule can be applied to live our lives. We should honor harmony and congruence in our relationships. As soon as a fist thrusts forward, it loses power. When the fist remains in, one’s power is sustained. We should never be impulsive in our actions or complain about little things that don’t really matter. Impatience and stubbornness lead us far too easily toward grief and suffering.

We all hope that we can have friends who are peaceful and pleasant, but there may be some who say, “These days, if you aren’t fierce and relentless, others will take advantage of you.” But these kinds of setbacks are temporary.

One may win or lose, but in the end, the result depends on you. One cannot rely simply on brute force, instead it is important to focus on the details. Everyone is different, and if we can be flexible and not so rigid, we can accept this.

Originally published in Endless Knot, written by Venerable Master Hsing Yun.

Image from Pixabay.

More Featured Articles

Most of us have an idea of what constitutes the space outside us; it is the environment in which we live. This includes the house we live in, the city we live in, or even the world we live in. Just as we need to skillfully manage our relationship to others, to the environment, and to wealth, we also need to properly manage our relationship Read more
In the Buddha's teachings, there are four kinds of friends: friends who treat you like a flower, friends who act like a balance, friends who are like the mountains, and friends who are like the earth.Friends who treat you like a flowerWe all enjoy flowers, especially when they are fresh. We put them in vases to decorate our homes, we give them to our loved Read more
Though the worlds that we see are fundamentally a product of our own minds, they usually do not appear this way to us. Like images in an intense dream, our perceptions appear to be wholly real to us, and not to have been generated by our own mental activity. For this reason, the Buddha taught many ways to help us comprehend the true nature of Read more
All my life, many have thought of me as rich, but the truth is, staying poor has always been my motto. I grew up in a poverty-stricken family, yet I never saw myself as poor, because I always felt rich in heart. Till my old age, many have thought of me as very wealthy because they believe I own many education institutes, cultural enterprises, publishing Read more
Meditation is not about sitting quietly with your eyes closed—this is just one method for developing meditative concentration. What matters in meditation is being able to contemplate and focus the mind.  Read more
Prajna allows us to truly know how life comes and goes, and it is only with prajna that we can have the strength to face the realities of life. To survive in this world we need both wisdom and power to alleviate our hardships and overcome adverse situations.Patience gives us both wisdom and strength.Buddhism speaks of three levels of patience.The first is patience for life, Read more
"To bear disgrace and insult" is the most important virtue a person can possibly cultivate, because the ability to forbear is enormously powerful, since a moment of anger can destroy an entire lifetime of merits. By restraining our emotions, we have a better chance of avoiding confrontation and gaining control of the situation at hand. Otherwise, our minds will be clouded and our judgment impaired. Read more
It seemed that I had to do every­thing for Buddhism. For Buddhism, I have to only set the tone and not be­come the master, hand over my physi­cal body to the temple and give my life to the Dharma protectors, heav­enly beings and nagas, and making the aspiration to head out for Buddhism, striving to move Buddhism to­ward humanity and society. It seemed then that Read more
As we live, we must strive for a life of value. Buddhism is different from philosophy, for it does not only deal with knowledge and theory. Rather, Buddhism calls for devout faith, developed morality, and most importantly: spiritual practice.All we need is the right intention to begin any form of spiritual practice, whether it is bowing to the Buddha, chanting sutras, repentance, meditation, or other Read more
Everyone in this world wants to have wealth and live a carefree life. They also want a good rebirth. Richness in this life and pleasure in the next are the hallmarks of a successful life.In the Sumati Sutra, the Buddha defined a "successful life" to be wealth in this life and happiness in the next life. Having wealth in the present life includes an elegant, proper appearance, Read more
We sometimes see signs on the highway warning: “Keep a safe distance.” Actually, it is not only in driving that we need to keep a distance. For safety reasons, any person and anything in the world needs to keep a distance.Take, for instance, the human body. Our eyes, nose, and mouth all need to keep a distance from one another. Our internal organs all have Read more
True stature is not created by form or ornament; words spoken out of jealousy and greed oppose it. Only when evil has been stopped at its roots, and when there is wisdom without anger is there true stature.— Dharmapadavadana Sutra The False Stature of This WorldEveryone wants to be well regarded by others. However, in seeking true stature, people too often waste their time in Read more